Mother is the heartbeat in the home, yet so often in early motherhood, we tend to ‘lose’ ourselves. We can get lost in the busyness of the days, the sleeplessness of the nights, the bottles and/or the breastfeeding and the smiles and burps. The sheer list of never-ending demands placed on us can slow us down, overwhelm us and cause us to lose our way. Lucky for us, moms are pretty good at finding things too.
To save you some time, here are some ways to remember who you are and balance being both a mom and yourself in this season. I promise that this list has been pulled together by a ‘real mom’ (me!) who has learnt a thing or two in the 12 and a bit years that I’ve been a mom. Jeepers, that’s a lot of mothering, my motherhood is almost a teen! Anyway, back to that list for those of you who are still in the trenches, here’s how to hold onto your sanity:
- Accept change – Things won’t ever be the same again. Plain and simple. Your friendships will change, your marriage will change, your finances will change and you won’t be the same again either, so best you accept that fact and move swiftly along in your new life.
- Nap – Who cares about the dishes? No one! A nap is always a good idea because everyone is happier and less snappy when they’re well rested.
- Get out the house – A spot of fresh air and sunlight can do wonders for your mood. Or if you’re in Cape Town, the wind angrily whipping your hair against your face can make you feel quite alive again. 10/10 recommend.
- Join a moms group – I’ll be the first to admit that I found visiting moms groups quite intimidating but even if the moms in the group aren’t really ‘your kind of mom’ or if you arrive looking a hot mess, you’ll soon find that you all have more in common that you thought and it will become a great comfort to drink cold coffee on the carpet with these ladies.
- Be kind to yourself – Good days are normal, bad days are normal. And it’s normal to have more bad days than good days. Be kind to yourself.
- Take care of yourself – Go for a walk, take a jog with, or without, a pram (I preferred without) or sign up for some online hypopressive exercise classes if you can’t get away to the gym. As your kids grow up, include them in your exercise routines and role-model what healthy looks like.
- Ask for help – Don’t be a martyr, ask for help. What’s the worst someone can say?
It’s totally fine to morph into this next version of you after a little one joins your family but in the same breath, it’s important to hold on to some of the things that makes you, you.
As motherhood has stretched me and tested me, it’s also helped me to find the real ‘Me’. How about you?
* This post is sponsored by www.re-centre.co.uk